Bizarre encounters find me. I've posted on my old blog about how I'm often approached by random strangers in public, incidents which illicit comments like "Can't believe that guy said that." or "Wow, do you know that lady?" or "How did you know what's what she was gonna say?!" or "WTF kind of men live down there in the South?!" or "That's SO weird! Why do they ask you that???"
Why? I couldn't tell you. I could not tell you how someone like me, an introvert, who minds her own business, and when interacting socially doesn't do so in any sort of flamboyant manner, gets so much b.s. directed at her from total strangers.The latest, condensed to the major details:
In a store, with a few other people. A couple, man and woman, are there as well. Older, normal looking mostly. Pleasantries exchanged by some. I'm not involved directly, I'm a few feet away from them and the others, poking at something. Business being minded.
I noticed and looked back at the man for two reasons. One, he's just standing there looking at me and you know how I feel about that. Two, he's got a camera in his hands and you know how I feel about that, and did I mention that we're just in a store? So, a little odd that you have a cam, not a phone with a camera, but actual cam, in the store. Not around your neck, (because at one point I was guilty of hauling mine, strapped to my back, everywhere), but in your hands. As you shop with your wife in the store. Odd, but whatever, right? Right. It's all good, not my business. So I see this man and woman, but turn back to do what I was already doing before they came into the proximity.
About a minute later, I hear Donna say something about taking pictures and I turn around, noticing the couple has gone. Scowling, she hurries over to me and says, "Did you know he was taking your picture?"
Stop everything. F*cking excuse me what???
I say, "Say what??" I look around, don't even see the couple anymore. Donna, eyes big and brows raised in her "this is important" expression, says "Every time you turned around to them, that man took your picture."
My mouth fell open. Adrenaline kicked in, heart sped up. Instant rage.
This is not the first time strangers have taken pics of me, but this was way weirder. I looked over at Jill for confirmation, she was already shaking her head with the same expression, saying he just took the pictures, she did not know why he was taking pictures, but he was and that his wife was just standing there. The last thing she said (I was already started to go into a Hulk-ish rage black out) was something like "I don't even try to understand these people anymore." What did that mean?? What "people"? White people? Married people? People who shop?? (I now understand she meant "weirdos".)
WHO THE FCK TAKES PICTURES OF STRANGERS IN STORES???
I was walking around, realizing that I was looking for this couple. I wanted to know why the man had been photographing me. Did he know someone that I knew?? Did someone tell him to do that?? (Look, I've had incidents.) Or was this just a random drive-by-photographing of a stranger in a store? He didn't take pics of the others, did he take pictures of other people around the store?? I was gonna find that son of a bitch and ask him. Because f*ck you, that's why!
Wow. Flashforward a little bit ahead. Now that it's over, I find it interesting that no one stopped me and asked me what I was really doing. They call it "Terminator mode", and apparently people don't wanna mess with it. But still, while I maintain that it's wrong and rude to go up to a stranger and just start taking their picture, esp. without even saying a word to them at all, my reaction to it is not the least bit healthy. The fact that I was so angry, so quickly, is just not good. I'm not saying that I would change my actions, because screw that guy. But I am saying I would like to alter my physical responses to such things, the anger, the adrenaline, the still being upset after. It doesn't feel good. And since I'm regularly accosted in some way or other, and have been since for as long as I can remember, you develop an awareness/anxiety that comes with going out in public. (Luckily, I know I'm not crazy. Learning from other people who are objects of different types of harassment over a long period of time, they also develop same type of anxiety. It's not right.) And all that just really builds up over time.
People will tell me that they never see me get really angry, which is mostly true. I'm usually chilling. There are just these certain things that piss me off like that. So I gotta work on my internal responses to what other people do, big or small. So that I don't allow that stress short circuit my own health and happiness. It's ridiculous.
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