Kids

Just came to the sudden, but not surprising realization, that I have no plans for kids.
It's sudden, because one day I was just like,  "I don't have kids and I don't want any... Wow, where'd that come from??" But then, not surprising, because of all the reasons here and there over the last few years that led to this decision.

It's hard when your partner expects to be a father at some point, and you have no desire to be a parent. So I truly hope to not be in that situation at any point. Talk about awkward.

Running down some reasons that led me to this realization....


I don't want to be pregnant. Nope.


I don't want to PUSH A BABY OUTTA ME.  I don't wanna do that.


Not interested in c-sections either.  O_O

And because this is all just "temporary" physical discomfort, (which is actually an outright lie, because women's bodies are often permanently changed or damaged from childbirth, period. So save it. I like my body just the way it is.) this is where people start talking up adoption.  See more reasons below.



I don't want the financial strain.
And don't dare have MORE than one kid. Kids was once my full time business, I know the costs. Seemingly endless...for supplies, home, medical costs, paying for childcare, other school costs...the list goes on... From the time they're born, until they can provide from themselves as adults. 
This is just a fact of life with kids, and unless you're one of the privileged, you don't have to work at all, are blessed with a high-earning partner, or are a two-high-income family, then you really have to buckle down and manage whatever money you do earn VERY well, because kids come first and you don't want to lose control of finances and not be able to provide well for your kids. That can be a lot of stress on parents. No thank you.



I don't want to be responsible for raising a child. I don't want to be a parent.
I don't want to be constantly worrying about the life and well-being of my child in this world, especially a female child. I really don't. Thinking of how to not screw up, how best to raise them to be awesome human beings is just part of it. The other part is protecting them from all the excrement this world throws at them, especially girls.
Kids aren't done on a trial run. Once you have them, you're responsible for everything about and for them, until they're able to handle life on their own. Even then you still worry, because you're still a parent. I don't want that.



Parenthood is the biggest time, energy, money, and peace-of-mind suck of all time. I've always told certain people that I wouldn't have kids until I had live-in nannies or something. I know they thought I was joking, but I wasn't. Maybe that sounds shallow, but it's just honesty. And if it does sound shallow to you, maybe you should ask yourself, where did you get the idea women were put on this earth to be inherently thrilled and self-sacrificing re: child rearing. Hm, I wonder.
Yeah, I would need extra pairs of hands on deck at all times. I'd be constantly leaving the kids with their daddy or my parents to go do things, probably a lot of things that aren't even child-friendly. Take that however you want, but I'm a person who has almost always been totally honest with my own self, and I know something for sure and that is this: I love my independence. I really do.


I would resent the lack of independence.
When I want to do something, I go do it. When I want to be someplace else for awhile, I go.  Can't really do a whole lot of that with kids. We still live in a patriarchal setup here, and among the non-wealthy, average citizens, the child care responsibilities still primarily fall to the person with the vagina. And if she has other things she wants to be doing with her life, doesn't want to do child-rearing 24/7, even thought we've come a long way, she's made to feel like a terrible mother for that.

People: "Ohhh, but once you HAVE a child, you fall in love with them and you'll be happy to sacrifice, and they'll be the most important thing and you want even want to do anything else.."

Please go away. Sure, that's absolutely true for SOME. But in other cases I know that sentiment to be total bullshit.  I know too many people who never should have had kids. Ones who are embarrassed to admit their kids were accidents or their kids were a way to try to keep their relationship together. Hell, some people leave their kids with other people to take care of them so much, you forget they even HAD a kid. Don't even get me started on all the single-mother/baby daddy situations. Some people create children as if they just needed something TO DO.  Or because it's simply expected. Guys, both of those are fcked up reasons to bring children into the world. I don't believe kids should be a cure for boredom or lack of purpose. Some of these people, if you asked them why they had kids, they could not even really tell you.



It's a very serious and life changing event/responsibility to have a kid, and I'm now sure I don't want to commit. This is me having a super realistic conversation with myself BEFORE letting children happen.